Christian Leftist

A couple of weeks ago, my Dad burst into the room with a triumphant smile. “Look what Mom (my mom, his wife) found!” My glance shifted from the beaming expression on his face to the bright silver object on his fourth finger, and I realized belatedly that Dad was wearing a ring.

His wedding ring, he told me proudly. They knew they had kept both of them, but they didn’t know where either of the two had been for years.

I’d seen the rings on and off over the years, usually during spring cleaning or an emptying of the dreaded 12-drawer dresser that we’ve had since around the time of my birth. The design is extremely unconventional - a series of welded silver circles in a staggered pattern about half an inch wide for the entire band. There are no names or initials, no gold, no diamonds, no filigree. That’s because my parents married during the seventies, and they were dirt poor graduate students at the time.

You won’t find a single wedding picture on display in our house. I’m pretty sure they didn’t have a professional photographer there. I find the occasional collection of faded Polaroids and Kodaks when I sort through old family photographs. There was no honeymoon, as there was no money for one. My dad wore a maroon jacket, and my mom wore a white pants suit. Obviously, they haven’t worn their wedding rings on a regular basis in decades.

What do all of these unusual facts say about my parents’ marriage?

Absolutely nothing.

Let me repeat that: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. In a few days, they’ll celebrate their 35th wedding anniversary.

In order to have some perspective on this: the average American marriage lasts all of - wait for it - 8 YEARS! Wow! Go, heterosexual couples, go! Way to show staying power! That’s, like, almost long enough for a first child to make it to elementary school (if you hurry) before the divorce proceedings end up in court! Totally patriotic of them to deny the same right to those ‘unfaithful’ homosexual couples. After all, deviants can’t be patriotic, right? Right.

Putting aside the sarcasm brigade for a moment, I should note that while their marriage hasn’t been perfect, my parents have not cheated on each other, separated, divorced/remarried, fought over our custody, started family feuds with the in-laws or suffered through a number of the myriad problems that seemed to plague the families of my friends from pre-school to college and beyond. Most people who hear how long they’ve been married are in shock, and it’s only in those moments that I remember how unusual they really are, and just how happy they are with each other most of the time.

The point I am trying to make here is that you don’t need a wedding band to prove you’re in a stable and secure marriage or even a comfortable marriage. Rings are status symbols, and the only people who really are about them are the ring wearers themselves and the few odd bystanders who want to get into their pants.You alone know whether or not you’re married and what that means, and you shouldn’t have to prove it to anyone else by wearing a band around your digit.

That’s why I don’t understand the whole ‘flag pin issue’ with Obama. This one should be obvious, but since it isn’t: wearing a flag pin just to wear a flag pin isn’t patriotic - it’s reflexive jingoism.

Go right ahead and wear one if you want to. People with half a modicum of common sense should be able to tell what you stand for by your actions. That includes wearing one on your suit, by the way - an action that informs me you have a strong desire to assimilate, to belong, to follow the sheep, even if it’s to a small extent. Barack Obama has put his principles, his family, possibly even his life on the line to defend his country, this country, just as the other presidential candidates have. I can’t imagine putting up with the flak he’s taken in the past few years of his public service without caring enough for America to do his job anwyay.

It reminds me of these people down a neighboring street of ours whose flagpole dwarfs their tiny little 1.5-story house. They certainly don’t need to do it. At least ten other houses within 500 yards have American flags outside their homes. I think all of the car dealerships on the strip that is our one main road and the artery of this town have flagpoles over two stories high. If you drive down the main drag in either direction, chances are there’s a giant Stars & Stripes blowing in your face in all of her majestic glory.

And yet.

Despite all of these facts, there remains this itch, this abject compulsion in our neighbors to stick a giant metal pipe in their front yard and use it to display their patriotism like men use sports cars to display their masculinity. Over-compensation, much?

What does it say about America when government buildings, farms, schools, offices and commercial complexes aren’t doing a good enough job of telling visitors that we love and respect our country, when we choose to ignore the federal guidelines for the use of Our Flag and slap it on bumper stickers, hats & t-shirts, when we tattoo it onto our chests and toss it around haphazardly, a year-long holiday ornament on display like the Christmas lights we forget to take down? Why has it become a partisan symbol that screams in our faces, “If you’re not with the Flag, you HATE AMERICA!” and a rallying cry to support our troops when virtually no one doesn’t want to support our troops? Is this the best we can offer ourselves? To act like competiing children and see who can build the bigger and better monument to our hollow patriotism, the kind that doesn’t care who suffers as long as someone who looks like ‘one of us’ says it’s the right thing to make someone else do?

I remember a day when it wasn’t necessary to ask. We were watching the 2002 Winter Olympics opening ceremonies, and people brought in the torn flag on TV, and my mother, who would probably balk at being labelled ‘patriotic’ these days, wept as the national anthem filled the room. It wasn’t out of hate or fear of the people who had the gall to kill for a political message. It was for the hope that the flag symbolizes and the knowledge that we would emerge from crisis, broken and beaten but still standing, that even if she didn’t approve of some of the aspects of our society, she wanted the freedom to choose how to live, that our way of life would continue in spite of all efforts to eradicate it.

I’m writing this because Ronald Martin, a contributor on CNN, wrote a wonderful piece of snark on exactly why the attacks on Obama because of the flag pin issue are false and divisionary tactics that the Right uses because they can’t engage Obama on substantive policy issues. Thanks to Loganatron for “Hypocrisy: The Flag Pin Non-Scandal” for pointing to this article.

ETA: I just found a great montage of McCain Not Wearing a Flag Pin. McCain hasn’t worn a flag pin ONCE since he won the GOP nomination.

The hypocrisy, it burns.

Despite the fact that he served in the Clinton administration as Secretary of Labor, Robert Reich is endorsing Barack Obama. This is according to CNN, where Wolf Blitzer interviewed the ex-editor of the leftist weekly magazine The Nation.

Apparently, the tipping point came last week, when Reich saw the obnoxious ads with people complaining about Obama’s ‘”bitter” comment that have played here in Pennsylvania.

So far, according to CNN, Hillary has lost a net 2 delegates since February 5th, while Barack has gained 77 in the same time period. She still leads him with her 251 to his 228.